Avoid men and eat mush is the secret to longevity, at least according to a 109-year old Scottish lady.
|From today’s New York Times: Oats have been a staple of what is now Scotland since the Roman Empire. A village in the Scottish Highlands even hosts a global porridge-making competition, where the Golden Spurtle is the top prize.
|The former oldest living woman in Scotland swore by the dish. Before her death in 2015 at age 109, Jessie Gallan revealed her secret to longevity.
|“A nice warm bowl of porridge every morning,” she said, and “staying away from men.”
A McDonald’s opened last week just outside Vatican City, within eyeshot of St. Peter’s Square and amidst protestations from Catholic officials. On the upside the Vatican will get about 30,000 euros, or about $31,375.50, per month in rent, La Repubblica reported.
Just received my new TV Guide with an ad for the “first ever” “I Love Lucy Vitameatavegamin Doll!” The 14-inch “poseable” doll wears blue gingham and pearls, speaks in Lucy’s own voice, plays the “I Love Lucy” theme song, and is endorsed by CBS and Desilu, too.
Read Roz Chast’s best-selling memoir “Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?” in one sitting. It’s a heroic, poignant, funny book about how she coped with her parents’ painful descent into senility and the ravages of old age. Very relatable for anyone dealing with aggravating elderly parents.
“Botox and fillers, she said, “make the younger people look old and the older people look young. Everyone looks like a homogenized 35.”—writer Carole Radziwill in a New York Times interview Feb. 26.
I’ll be appearing, along with other local writers, at the Lewis County Historical Museum’s annual fundraiser “Evening with the Authors” Friday December 6 from 4 to 7 PM in Chehalis, Washington.
The book signing/sale will feature all the books in the “Madcap” Mary humor series in addition to Publishing Syndicate’s “new” anthology “Not Your Mother’s Book on Home Improvement.”
“Madcap” Mary books range in price from $5 to $7. NYMB on Home Improvement is $10 (that’s $7 off the retail price!)
Enjoy complimentary Chehalis Mints candies and enter to win a “Madcap” Mary book!
Call toll free 877-775-0093 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for details.
Knocked my socks off with his September 30 New Yorker cover featuring Emmy-winning actor Bryan Cranston as Walter White, and Syrian president Assad as a mad scientist. Hilarious, wonderful, great work, Mr. Blitt.
One of my humor pieces, “The Perils of Paint,” based on a true story about painting our son’s bedroom, appears in Publishing Syndicate’s latest anthology, released Sept. 10. Not Your Mother’s Book…on Home Improvement is available at all online book retailers, and most brick and mortar bookstores in the U.S. and abroad. *
Featuring 65 humorous tales about home improvement and remodeling projects gone hilariously or hideously awry, the book is sure to appeal to all the brave optimistic do-it-yourselfers who make this country so great.
I’ll be signing books and appearing in vintage costume at several events in the Pacific Northwest this fall. Watch this blog for details.
* Not Your Mother’s Book…on Home Improvement is available directly from me at substantial savings. Click on Madcap Mary Humor Books at the top of this page to order your signed copy today!
Writer Angela McKeown, of Momopolize, has a brilliant idea: She says, “When you lie about your age, don’t subtract 10 years. ADD 10!
Then people will say “Wow! You look incredible for 49! What’s your secret??”
I’m going to kick it up a notch and add 20 years, telling folks I’m 80. Thanks for the tip, Angela!
Today’s wisdom comes courtesy of David Sedaris from his bestselling book “Naked.” Being from a non-hugging family I can relate:
“With the exception of Lisa, we were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort, it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well-made cocktail.”